By Amalia Theocharidou,
Sometimes we find ourselves attracted way too much to an idea. The idea of graduating, or the idea of living a life according to what we want to be or what we want to achieve. We create mechanisms in our own head, which are actually used as a way to escape from reality. One is unhappy about their current reality, is sad over how things have escalated to be, so they create a different reality, mostly in their head, in order to cure the harshness of knowing that you’ll never have what you need.
It has happened to all of us, to me included, to become so attached to an idea and to not be able to move on from it. It’s either something we truly, really, want or something that means a lot to us for sentimental reasons. The idea is deeply engraved inside our minds. It is something that if we had, we proclaim it’d bring us utter peace and satisfaction. But ideas are just ideas. We don’t own them. And this is the hardest to accept.
In order to understand the deep complexity of the current issue I’ve been wanting to present, I shall give some examples. A parent who wants everything for their kid to go according to their rules and desires. They have planned ahead their kid’s entire life, college, hobbies, friends. And that is because the parent is so attached to the idea of their kid following that specific lifeline, not because it would be beneficial for their sprout directly, but for themselves. Which parent wouldn’t feel deep joy if their kid became a doctor or a lawyer? But then, revolution arrives. The kid expresses that they don’t want to follow this specific path and the parent’s whole worldview collapses. The whole life they have in mind, that would bring such fulfilment, is a lie. And it will never happen. And they will never accept it.
It is hard to accept that something you want is not within your reach. And even harder to move on from it. Ideas and expectations (just like stereotypes, which explain the backwardness of our times) grow on us and become a part of us. Consider yourself as a kid, exploring numerous possibilities when questioned, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” We choose one, we own our choice until we become it, and for some (while others decide to follow a different path as time passes) it becomes a guiding force for many years. Until we find out it’s unreachable. But academics and success are not the only part of life. It is hard to leave a loved one, a person whom you cherished, creating in your head the perfect relationship, platonic or not. The idea of being forever friends, forever partners really is effectual. But we do not own people. And we do not own their ideas as well. We cannot be loved in the ideal way we want. So, we try to impose it on our loved ones.
Sometimes, we are so consumed by what we want, that we forget about others. But in the end, we are just trying to save ourselves. We know that the harsh realization would tear us apart and that is why we prevent ourselves from facing the truth. Like the ostrich, if I don’t see the pain, the pain doesn’t see me. But by ignoring it, we are actually feeding it. We keep living with the anxiety that someday, we will need to face the truth.
Some things are just out of our grasp. We can’t do anything to change the past, the series of events or what’s already to come. The worries and troubles we face are usually self-created and self-obligatory. Personally, I believe that everything happens for a reason. Something’s loss is about to bring another’s worth. Do not worry about the past. Do not worry about the future, you live in the present, so let’s focus on that. In the end, we are humans. And what is life without some challenges?
