By Andreas Gkoumplias,
In our days and age, we are all more or less familiar with the terms “sexual abuse” and “sexual harassment”, both of which are used to describe non-consensual sexual interaction(s) between two people. One of those interactions that is becoming an increasingly worrying ‘’trend’’ is called stealthing, and in this article, we are going to take a look at what that phenomenon is.
By definition, stealthing is the act of the male party removing the condom before or during sex, without consent from the other partner. Another form of this method is achieved by using a compromised condom, via poking holes in it or partly destroying it beforehand, which achieves the exact same result. It is important to know, however, that the line is very thin in many countries as there is no law stating that this is considered a sexual assault. In countries like England, Germany, Canada, and New Zealand there have been a handful of cases where stealthing was considered a sexual assault and the perpetrators were punished. In the US, if we take out California, where stealthing is prohibited and viewed as sexual assault, there are no laws that specifically cover the subject. And as it is clear, it is because of the loophole that there is not a law specifically made to prohibit that action that it tends to be a rather common occurrence.
There are quite a few reasons why people resort to stealthing, the first of which is the want to manipulate someone into getting pregnant and being forced to stay in a relationship. Another reason may be the fact that some people tend to be very egoistic, prioritizing their needs and desires above everything else, even if it may be harmful to their partners. And of course, in some cases, it is used by some people as a way to assert dominance over their partner.
Needless to say that this technique can be harmful and dangerous for both parties. First of all, with all the STDs circulating around, unprotected sex feels like a bad gamble where the odds are significantly against the victim contracting a case of STD. Then, apart from the health issues that may arise, let us not forget that the victims of stealthing can feel very violated, as their boundaries have been crossed without consent. Trust issues and insecurities arise afterward as the victim has been deceived and is afraid of that happening a second time. And of course, an unwanted pregnancy is always a risk, and should there be one, things are getting a lot more difficult, especially for the victim.
The question that arises is; how can stealthing be prevented? And there is not an easy answer to that, as it can happen pretty much anywhere and with anyone, from a person that you met once at a club and both were down for a fun time, to a dedicated relationship. One potential solution is to use your own bought condoms to ensure that they have not been tampered with in any way. Another possible solution could be to use condoms that are easy to feel (textured-dotted) or condoms with a somehow bright color that can be spotted easily. Not pushing things too fast and taking the time to know someone before having sex can also be a valid alternative, but more often than not as aforementioned, stealthing happens even within marriage or long-term relationships, so that isn’t always a safe bet.
References
- What Are Grey Rape and Stealthing?. domesticshelters.org. Available here
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What is Stealthing? Everything You Should Know. healthline.com. Available here
- Condoms 101: Stealthing, Barebacking & Consent. gofreddie.com. Available here
