By Evangelia Petsa,
This is a question we often ask ourselves, but most of the time we hesitate or even fear to answer. Why is this happening?
Let us start with the fact that in 2022, and mainly in the professional sector, due to the fact that we are living in an era of extreme specialization, of extreme competition, being considered successful is clearly more difficult compared to ten years ago or even five years ago. To have a high school diploma, a bachelor’s degree, or even a master’s degree is considered so self-evident and given. You must constantly be active in your field, stay informed, exchange opinions with your colleagues, and generally be in a constant search. Unfortunately, this competition has put us in the process of constantly comparing ourselves to others. To compare what we have achieved so far, small or big, with what others have achieved.
And this, on the one hand, has made us never be happy and not appreciate the things we have, and on the other hand, to see the success of others with half an eye, and attribute it to factors that have nothing to do exclusively and only with their personal effort. There are not a few times that we have said that one succeeded because they had someone they knew who helped them, or that they were simply very lucky, or that in any case, they did not take the job meritoriously. And surely this way of thinking cannot be productive under any circumstances.
And even worse, most of the time we care about what other people will say about any failure of ours. As if we need confirmation from others. As if we believe that others are doing everything right without any obstacle in their way, without any moment of weakness. We very easily forget that what we see is the result of a huge effort, during which many mistakes have been made, and many difficult moments have taken place, and we think that everything happens from one moment to the next in the easiest and most painless way. And most important we care what others will say about us because we are the first ones who have criticized others thousands of times for their own failure. It is like a mirror.
A common mistake that most of us make is to equate success with big and great things. Things that by nature do not happen very often, such as a big promotion, a job with a very good salary but not particularly tiring, a glow-up in the appearance. And somehow the things that are essential and have value are put aside. Success should be considered the fact that we woke up in the morning and we are healthy, that we have a roof over our head, food on our table, our family by our side, good friends, and a job we love. Only when we start to appreciate them and not take them for granted, even bigger ones will come.
We have to agree on the fact that failure is not something to be happy about, it is not something that you enjoy the moment it happens to you. The moment it happens to you, it causes your disappointment, sadness, anger, and an irresistible disposition to give up on everything and never try again for anything. All these are absolutely normal. But we must learn to set boundaries and realize when failure becomes unproductive for us. We will never succeed more than we fail. Because failure is a wonderful teacher. It is the only way to learn. Every time we fail we are one step closer. So every time we fail we have to keep in mind that we got one out of the way. What we have to do is to reflect on our share of responsibility, understand where we are at fault and what we have done wrong, and see what we can do to correct the situation and move on. And it is not bad at all to ask for help from those around us.
To sum up, I would like to mention an inspiring quote that accompanies me in the last years of my life, now that I am taking my first steps in the job market. For the things I want to succeed in life, there are two scenarios, either to succeed or to learn from them. Failure is not understood in my mind as a concept. All this certainly sounds ideal, but even a small step in this direction is important.
References
- How not to explain success. nytimes.com. Available here
- Is competition necessary for success?. dearmedia.com. Available here
