By Polina Pallieraki,
While in the past virginity was considered a sign of restraint and necessary — especially for women — in our times, now, the diametrically opposite belief prevails: virginity has been associated with the deprivation of the joy of life, it is considered a curse and as a worthy reason even for someone to be ashamed of.
Nowadays, virginity is considered synonymous with romantic indifference by romantic partners (although this is not the case, as long as someone could have proposals for a romantic relationship and still be negative, for his own personal reasons).
Nowadays, someone who does not want to spend himself in sexual experiences and spend himself in intense love adventures is identified with the deprivation of joy, with lack, with a defect. Of course, I do not agree with the return of the world to the old times and customs, where they hung up the bed sheet. However, it is noticed that there is no corresponding respect for the opposite choice of a person — as long as the choice of a person who does not support having a sex life should be respected at all times.
In an age where sex dominates broadcasts, the Internet, reality TV, and cinema, for someone who expresses a more relaxed attitude towards it, it is considered a scandalous fact. It is believed that abstinence from sexual intercourse is a denial of the joy of youth, it is equated with deprivation, and it is even considered evidence of a person’s lack of eroticism and charm.
Reasons someone may choose virginity
The reasons that someone may has chosen virginity are many and varied. In the history of mankind, many bright spirits considered carnal relations as an obstacle to the attainment of higher philosophical thought.
For Epicurus, the philosopher must be a part of the world and its people, however, he should not live in the way of people, so that he is free from external and carnal needs that distract the mind from philosophy.
Plato in the famous Symposium refers to the higher form of Love that does not include carnal union, the well-known Platonic Love, which also influenced Christian teaching in the following centuries.
Other reasons can be religious beliefs, the desire to find the right person, the lack of interest in sexual life (asexuality), and many other reasons that concern each individual.
Of course, we cannot ignore the fact that there are also people who, while they want to have a social life, for various reasons end up not being able to experience it, even in times when dating is easier and technology has progressed so much.
Virginity in the teaching of the Church
For the Church, virginity is a “supernatural” condition that prompts people to experience deification without experiencing love with the human person, putting the center of interest exclusively on the union with God.
What is emphasized in religion is this: People may not be able to prevent certain desires from being created, but they can control their reactions to them. Indeed, satisfying their every sex drive is as wrong and foolish as hitting someone every time someone gets angry.
The fact is, God never intended us to misuse our reproductive powers. “Let each of you know how to keep your vessel [your body] in sanctification and honor,” says the Bible. Just as there is “a time to love and a time to hate,” there is also a time to satisfy one’s sexual urges and a time not to do so. After all, people are in control of their desires!
Virginity and women
The cultural obsession with virginity has historically been more about women. The woman is identified according to the dominant social data with purity, while the man with an intense sexuality that cannot be tamed. And while men were able to change partners to gain experience, women had to remain chaste until the first night of marriage.
Women in earlier decades learned that their bodies and sexuality did not belong to them, but to the men in their life (initially to the father and afterwards to their husband).
Fortunately, the progress of society has given women the opportunity to decide about their bodies, as well as to freely choose the way they will live. She can explore her sexuality, experiment, and choose what will complete her on a companionship level.
And while in the past it was considered honorable for a woman to have no experience, today it is considered a sign that choosing a serious partner in their own life, is the result of mature thinking (many partners, regardless of their gender, feel proud when their partner had an intense love life before them, after them he changed and devoted himself to them), they take it as proof that they are right partners and have elements in their character that inspire confidence and security.
Conclusion
Whether or not one has a sex life is entirely up to one’s own personal choice. Abstaining from sexual activity is not something reprehensible and has not been scientifically proven to harm a person’s mental health, similarly, there is nothing wrong with choosing to have a partner life. Even choosing not to have a love life is not negative – if it is a personal choice. As, in addition, it is purely his choice when he chooses to build a companionship.
References
- Γιατί να διατηρήσω την παρθενιά μου. wol.jw.org. Available here
- The common sense, Ηλίας Κουρκούτας: ο θεσμός της παρθενιάς και η ανάπτυξη των ταμπού. thecommonsense.gr. Available here
- 20 χρόνων και παρθένα; Μαγκιά σου κορίτσι μου. ewoman.gr. Available here
