Dangerous Liaisons: A brief recap in history’s most controversial relationships

The author’s personal favorite is the torrid love of Napoleon and Joséphine’s romance which is frequently praised for being passionate and romantic, but in truth, it was also turbulent and fierce. In 1795, they first connected at a social gathering hosted by Napoleon’s tutor and Joséphine’s lover, Paul Barras. Joséphine, who was six years older than Napoleon, captured Napoleon’s attention right away. They later were married in a civil ceremony in Paris. Later, Napoleon embarked on his first battle in Italy but not before sending his wife a number of fervent and lovesick letters, many of which she regularly failed to respond to while engaging in extramarital relationships and accruing debts at home. Napoleon furiously wrote to her after learning of her alleged infidelity: “I don’t love you; on the contrary, I detest you”. he started his own affair.

The couple’s main problem ultimately was Napoleon’s decision to divorce Joséphine in November 1809 because she was unable to bear him an heir. When she learned of this, she collapsed to the ground. Napoleon still had feelings for Joséphine even after their romance ended, and he made sure she had enough money to live on for the rest of her life. Napoleon reportedly spent two days alone when she passed away in 1814, and it is stated that he muttered, “France, the army, head of the army… Joséphine,” as he lay dying.

Another famous couple carved in art history’s thick canvases is the much controversial relationship of when two opposites attract, Frida Kahlo and Diego Riviera. It would be only an understatement to suggest that two of the best painters in Mexico and the whole 20th century had a difficult relationship. When Kahlo was 15 and Rivera was 36, they only had a brief encounter. Three years later, Kahlo was gravely hurt in a bus accident, which would cause her lifelong misery. She started drawing to pass the time while she was recovering. After rejoining the Mexican Communist Party in 1928, Kahlo met with Rivera; she showed him her artwork and he recognized her skill. They fell in love right away and got married in 1929 and Kahlo’s parents referred to them as “the Elephant and the Dove” because of their physical contrasts.

The artists really cared for one another but were disloyal to one another, which caused countless heated arguments. However, it was Rivera’s romance with his sister-in-law that profoundly affected Kahlo, and the pair split in 1939 before getting remarried a year later. Their artistic collaborations, notably Kahlo’s moving self–portraits and her thoughtful letters to Rivera reveal their bond. They stayed wed up until Kahlo’s tragically early death in 1954, which devastated Rivera. In the biographical movie “Frida” starring Salma Hayek, we can sense Frida’s power of forgiveness, being there for all the people she loved, even if they betrayed her trust.

Sometimes, love affairs can be toxic not only between the couple but to others as well. The mother of contemporary feminism and the father of existentialism collaborated on ideas for fifty years in a relationship that defied social norms; they never lived together but shared each other’s work and lives. At the Sorbonne in 1929, De Beauvoir and Sartre were rivals and classmates while they pursued the renowned graduate degree known as the aggregate in philosophy. De Beauvoir had better grades than Sartre but at age 21 she was the youngest person to ever pass the test. In October of that year, the two began their romantic partnership, an experiment in personal responsibility and open-heartedness.

Before her partner’s passing, Simone de Beauvoir, who Sartre mockingly referred to as “The Beaver,” never had a written project published without his or her involvement. He also described her as a “filter” for his writings and some academics have even argued that she wrote some of them just for him. Scholars and journalists frequently charge de Beauvoir with publicly disguising excruciating jealousy attacks but there is always a “however” in life. Although her inner emotional state is unknown, it is apparent that both Sartre and de Beauvoir treated their much younger female consorts in a manipulative, frequently dishonest, and possibly brutal manner. Consider de Beauvoir’s 16-year-old classmate Bianca Bienenfeld, who was 14 years her senior. De Beauvoir introduced Sartre to her boyfriend shortly after the two ladies started their relationship. He immediately set out on a quest to woo Bienenfeld. De Beauvoir instructed Sartre to cease their love entanglement when it developed and in a letter, he did so suddenly.

In the end, what do we make of these encounters, engagements, marriages, affairs and existential, trauma-bonding, soul connections? They are perhaps, emblematic but undeniably flawed, even dangerous, and not ideal to look up to, if not looking for inspiration to write a thrilling romantic novel. As de Beauvoir stated in her relationship with Sartre, “We were two of a kind and our relationship would endure as long as we did: but it could not make up entirely for the fleeting riches to be had from encounters with different people.” Love, passion, and obsession only grow as we feed into them. And again, when a relationship ends, maybe it is not about the people stopping loving each other, but rather the people stopping hurting each other.

---