By Dimitris Kolias,
How many times have you heard phrases like “real men do not cry”, “man up”, or even “boys will be boys”? Be it in real life or in media, those phrases are far from uncommon even today. What they represent is a set of societal norms that men must adhere to in order to be considered, for lack of a better adjective, “true” men. For decades, males grew around and into stereotypes like this, and, as it turns out, they are not only harmful to the other members of our society, namely women and children, but to us men as well! Some might even say that traditional “manly” behaviors and mindsets such as these are toxic.
In this article, we will try to understand and pinpoint the exact behaviors and thought patterns that are considered aspects of toxic masculinity and the damage they can cause, so that we may try to become better-adjusted individuals in the prosses.
Up to this point, all literature agrees that toxic masculinity has three core components.
The first one is toughness. This is, of course, expected because, how can someone be considered a “true” man, if he is not self-sufficient? If he is willing to rely on others, especially women, to get by. Real men should be content and capable of navigating through the difficulties of life by themselves. They also should not show emotion, at all if possible, and they should never cry.
The second one is anti-femininity. Another predictable one. After all what kind of man are you if not the “macho” kind? By the way, stop using that face cream and plucking your monobrow, you do not want to be called gay now, do you?
The last one is power. This one is a little trickier because not only does it play on societal norms, but also on traditional gender roles. But in the end, how can you be called a man if you are weak, not only in form but in status and money as well, right?
But the toxic traits of masculinity extend far beyond the three core components. It is understood that men that apply the above to themselves exhibit other harmful behaviors as well. For example, they tend to glorify unhealthy habits, like tobacco, alcohol, and substance abuse. And as previously mentioned, they are also prone to not practicing self-care, while they are also unwilling to see doctors. Why? I suppose because real men get over minor injuries or sickness by themselves, they do not need doctors, they are strong. On a side note, I think I am allowed to classify this as the pinnacle of idiocy. Especially since, in this part of the world, lifesaving medical treatment of almost any kind is, for now, free.
Of course, it is no surprise that the same people refuse to get mental treatment. Research has shown that men who show traits of toxic masculinity are more likely to have depression, higher stress and anxiety, and lower quality sleep.
Unfortunately, the problem is not confined to only the people who abide by those stereotypes. There is a clear correlation between not being viewed as traditionally masculine and being bullied at school, with the opposite being true as well.
To add to our understanding of toxic masculinity traits, the APA (American Phycological Association) has recently released new guidelines to help treat boys and men affected by the societal pressure associated with the aforementioned stereotypes.
After compounding forty years of research, they say that traditional masculinity is harmful and creates both internal and external damage to the ones affected.
They also observed that when stripped of stereotypes and cultural expectations, there were not many differences in the basic behaviors between men and women. In the same vein, it was observed that differences in emotional displays between adolescent girls and boys were very small if there at all.
To conclude, it is now clear to us that cultural expectations regarding gender roles do more harm than good, and I believe that we men should focus more on being human. We should try to work through our issues and not let anachronistic and unscientific cultural norms dictate our lives and our minds.
References
- What Is Toxic Masculinity?, verywellmind.com, Available here
- Toxic masculinity, wikipedia.org, Available here
- What Is Toxic Masculinity?, nytimes.com, Available here
